For my own sence of tranquility and allowing bad thoughts to leave my mind so that I may find that balance that is good in my world. And also, so that I dont come right out and tell you what a damn idiot you are and perhaps loose my job. I like working in my pj's dangit.

If you own a computer I would suggest that you actually take the time to consider a very important item: System Requirements.

Lets review. System Requirements are listed for a reason. If your computer does not have the MINIMUM items in that list you WILL have issues. If you own a computer older than dirt and are running something other than Vista or XP you do realize you are screwed when it comes to installing programs, right? If you've had a computer for that long it's something I would think you would know. You dont. You're an idiot.

Another very important item for you to consider if you own a computer: Updates

Lets review. Updates are items that need your attention. If they are Windows Updates, Virus Definition Updates, general software updates, etc they all should be done. If you do not comply with updates and install them you know that you WILL have issues, right? Ignoring them will not make them go away. They cant install on their own. You should know that they are an important part of your computer and it's ability to function properly. You dont. You're an idiot.

An absolute astounding item to me is those of you who call without a clue whatsoever on how to operate a program you have paid for. These things come with user manuals. I am not a user manual. You should have at least gone to the point of opening the product prior to calling me with a problem with it. You should also know what the hell the program is before you call someone with a problem. How can I help you in any way shape or form if you dont have a clue? You're an idiot.

Along those same lines "You're software sucks" makes me want to tell you that yeah, no - it doesnt you do. You stupid ass. Learn how to use it and maybe you wouldnt have this problem. You're an idiot.

"I find it unacceptable...blah blah blah" is something you should definately not say to someone with the ability to put you into the abyss. I find you unacceptable. You're an idiot.

"I would like to be refunded for my time" is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. That's nice of you. How else may I help you today? Have you been ranting on and on like this the whole time because Dude, that could be your whole problem in a nutshell. You're an idiot.

My best call of recent weeks though I have to say is the guy who called most definately stoned out of his gourd and asking me why his monitor was all different freaky colors. I'd like to tell you that youre shit got jacked but, I cant. I have to actually go along with the typical routine trying not to bust out laughing. Thanks guy. You made my day.

The list of Items as per usual we are currently working on the most:

ISpyNow

RapidAntivirus

WinWebSecurity

Tidserv!inf

SpyGuard2008

AntiVirus2009

You see any of these you just give me a call. Have your charge card ready and be nice dangit. You did this to yourself. You're an idiot.

I know, I know...some of you certainly don't want to hear about it but you know maybe you should just listen anyway. That way when your wife or girlfriend or daughter is going for hers you will be there for her and be supportive and oh yeah....if you're Irish....know that SH*t happens so you'll be prepared.

No woman looks forward to these things in any way. It's so not exciting or interesting or anything else. It just is. Thats all. We go, we do, we return home. It's how women handle it. I try so very hard not to stereotype the sexes but, in this case I really have to. Next time you need to schedule you're testicles to be crushed in a vice let me know how that turns out for you because as the stronger sex we know you wouldn't even schedule the damn thing. We just get it done and continue on to the next hurdle. Kinda puts in perspective my whole damn day I guess.

Just another freaky girly appointment thing I get to endure for the rest of my life..and woohoo I get to get it all started now. So excited. Not. Whatever though dude, just get it done and let me get on with things. That's my perspective on it all entering into it at least. It can be so much more exciting than that. Who knew?

I knew something was up when they asked me to return to "the room" for further pics and were concentrating on only one of the bresticles. I knew even more that something was up when they scheduled an ultrasound. Thankgoodness I was already at the Hospital thats all I can say. They must plan some of these things that way I think. Maybe men should only have doctor visits at a Hospital. That way all the tests could be run before letting them out the door.

So yes, theres this big black blob on the monitor where there should be nice white/gray tissue matter showing. I'm sure its actually really small but, it's quite sizeable anyway from my point of view.

FABULOUS

Just give me the info doc. He doesnt think its anything to worry a lot about but ......oh boy. I'm not big on the "but" part really doc.

GREAT

Do you want to schedule this work that needs to be done for another day? Um...no, I'm here, half dressed with you all gazing at the glorious bresticles, why would I come back again at another time? Lets just get it done.

So, my afternoon was spent at the hospital with the doc (who may I just say looks about 25 and OF COURSE is cute) and the ultrasound. Needles and titanium. XRays and icepacks.

I am so thrilled I could spit.

In a few days he will call me to tell me everything is fine. I'm sure. Just another day in the life. Oh the joy.

The titanium is not enough to set off secuirty at the airport OR the courthouse though (funny young man that doc).

My water bra now sits in the freezer will it will once again become of valuable use to me....who would have ever thought it?

**update - doc called all excited (THANK GOD) Benign..woohoo.

Found a pretty close picture of it here if at all interested:

http://www.medskul.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=91

Unless you know me you wouldn't know what that title was about. It's not what you think but, it certainly could change to that someday soon. I am that person who (in years past at least) throws up Christmas all over the house. I've got all those cheesy little Holiday things everywhere you look. Bathroom - check, Kitchen-check, Three different trees-check, lights and lighted items-check, etc etc. In fact my main concern moving into the wee little hobbit house was that there was enough room in storage for my christmas decorations. So, there - you understand now. I'm a freak. It's okay, I'm good with it. I've accepted the fact at this point in my life and I don't care. It's a beautiful place to be.

Now, consider the fact that last Christmas - no tree but a few things here and there anyway. This christmas - not even a single light. Is something awry with the freaky gal? Why yes. I'm not in the mood to celebrate. Those that know me know why but everyone else hasn't a clue. That's fine. You can continue to be clueless as it is none of your concern.

It's not that I'm not trying. I am. I am trying really really hard . I am putting up a good front for everyone else and forcing myself to have some celebration and find some enjoyment in it. Not easy but, the force thing seems to work a bit in favor of it. I have these odd twinges in feelings. They range from how I should just go out into the shed and pull everything out and put it all up so that it looks and feels like Christmas to more thoughts of how I need to say screw it all when will it be 2009 already? It's like having the angel devil thing battling through your ears. Angel says 'maybe on Christmas Eve you'll go out and buy the Charlie Brown Tree left on the lot and make popcorn string garland and all will be well with the world'. Devil says 'why dont you take the night off get buzzed and work on Christmas cuz it's going to suck anyway'...might as well just make it another regular day.

So who the hell knows. At this point I have my cards done and ready to be mailed (yes, I am that person that writes out cards still), I have gifts to be wrapped and shipped, and I have plans to visit family for the weekend to do some celebrating. Thank God for the Irish. I can drink and laugh and cry with company. It's all good.

The family actually did a good deed in the way of cute lists for everyone. Since the economy is bad for everyone we decided to do silly things for gifts. We should do it every year. I whine about it, yes. I whine about everything. They kept me busy. I'll share so you get the idea. Heck, you might want to implement it yourself if need be.

1. A nip of everyones favorite liquor (How great are they?)

2. Something that begins with the first letter of their name (Proper name, nickname, or salutation like "Aunt")

3. A Christmas ornament that reminds you of them in High School or when they were young. (Got out the crafting stuff and they are interesting)

4. Something with their favorite logo or cartoon character (Other than trying to find NY sports teams items here in Boston this was great)

5. Their favorite scent in a candle or similar item (Like I have any idea what scent other than Jameson's anyone would enjoy?)

6. Their favorite candy bar (Finally they got the big bars out at the stores and I guessed my best since Mike & Ikes dont qualify)

Also buy 1 gift card for Yankee Swap. Keep it limited to 25.00. Be creative. (I so dislike Yankee Swaps that they're lucky I got a card for it but it should be good anyway)

I plan to have pizza and drinks this evening with company while wrapping our gifts. That should be fun at least. The drinks and food with company are always good.

After saying all of that though I must say bahhumbug on your Merry Christmas wishes. Damn the puppies and ribbons and bows. Those of you who are Holly Jolly the world is great and wonderful people....you make me want to throw up. Stop it now. I have a Throwing Up Christmas vision in my head and I dont want to change it to something like that.

Great store for gifts:

http://lifeiscrap.shop.musictoday.com/Default.aspx

Now, when the Hell is New Year?

It's not like you think and I like it that way. Really. While I do enjoy moments of dressing up and doing the whole elegant dinner and proper festivities on occassion I like comfort as well. Thank goodness the family does also.

I stayed with my Aunt and her boyfriend in a lovely little neighborhood in Meriden. He's got a great house with a brook running through the backyard and a fabulous deck. They are both so welcoming and generous that it was very nice to spend time there. There were great foods to be had as well and for that woman who had to be taught how to cook a Thanksgiving turkey not all that long ago, she cooked up a storm and it was fabulous. I ate most of the pepperoni and crackers by the time the kids started to arrive because once again I am in the "I forgot to eat" mode I find myself in at times. Once Marianne arrived the liverwurst was opened and we both had a joyful appetizer time. Barry showed up with his video camera running and I know he's got some great stuff to share with us all and future generations as well.They will certainly know how nutty we were.

The new and exciting gifting experience was actually a great deal of fun with lots of laughs. I was surprised to have gotten 2 Southern Comforts, 2 Bailey's and 1 Godiva in the nip gifts. I thought it would be all SC at this point. Nice to be surprised. The ornaments from HS were pretty darn funny. I got an 80's hair band, a color your own black velvet mini poster, and if Marianne only knew how the green twig ornament actually worked perfectly she would die. Barry loved his Mohawk ornament. I think Mike's was the best though. Since I didnt know him in HS I made a generic blue ornament that came from Lyman Hall school colors I remembered. Yeah, he didnt go to Lyman Hall (doh!). However, Blue Balls works too. Oh my! There was also the spattering of Sports teams and I was blessed with Bruins items, Barry with Rangers, and Marianne with Yankees. Thats just a wonderful thing (even the Yankees - for her at least). Bobby also got some great stuff. Loved the bubble wrap and BandAids for first letter of his name items! I picked him up a John Deer travel mug because I just could figure out a sports team, logo, or cartoon character. He showed up wearing a John Deer cap. He was VERY excited to get the mug. Who knew!? There was also the Chia Pet gift. I bought it for Maureen. She loved it. Funny because we were talking about how we were probably all going to get one and only 1 showed up. I had to do it. Somebody had too.  The regifting had some emotional tears. We were all calling it the re-gifting catagory but, it was actually a give something you have that the other person might like thing. Barry gave his Mom his pin from Safety Patrol. He gave Mike his favorite toy car from when he was a kid. I got one of his favorite books on Japanese Proverbs. What a kid! Great thoughts he had. Bobby blessed us all with Stanley Tape measures. He also gave Marianne his favorite old sweatshirt that she always borrows. So very sweet.

There was also a surprise for us all that is VERY generous. It was a scavenger hunt. To be judged for creativity and amusement factor from a list made by the host and hostess. Marianne and I tied. Our prize? We get to drive on of the Mustangs in the Spring. NICE. Can't wait for Spring for more than one reason now.

So, some great memories to hold onto for the future and cherish. Felt good.

We had the celebration on this past weekend because Marianne was graduating from Nursing school on Monday. It worked to get it done then and all see each other at one time. It was wonderful to see her with her class. Out of over 70 initial enrollments only 20 something made it through to the end. It's a tough one. She did it. I'm so proud of her. She looked so cute in her whites and thank goodness they dont have to do the skirt and silly hat thing anymore. Everyone showed up too - 11 of us for her. Nice to see everyone again! Always nice to see her Dad and Gina. Was a nice surprise to see her friend Jess and to meet Bobbys parents too. Hope she had a wonderful evening with her friend celebrating the affair. We went out for a great dinner at Hops.

Also sqeezed in a visit to Great Aunt Winnie and it's always a joy to see her and spend time with her. Sorry to have missed Rhea, Terry and the kids. Got to play with Murphy dog and the new kitty though so, that was nice. We also helped her do a couple of things she needed some assistance with. Cleaning her mirror cuz she's just not tall enough anymore and wrapping a couple of awkward gifts. Nice to help her out. Small little feel good stuff is a simple joy we should all have in our lives.

In addition to all of that I was able to sneak away and enjoy drinks by the fireplace. What a wonderful thing. Joy abounds.

Going to try to take the good stuff with me for the next week and hope it helps get me through the bahhumbugs. Thanks to everyone for giving me love, laughter, cheer and good times when I need it the most.

Now, about that 4.5 hour ride home......sigh.

Pictures:

Christmas In Ct 2008: http://pandafan.tabulas.com/gallery/christmas-in-ct-2008/

 Marianne Graduates: http://pandafan.tabulas.com/gallery/marianne-graduates/

"ARgghhtichoke"

"He's gone to Rome to blow out your foocking candle Father"

And damn if I cant remember them all but there were some great ones last evening during our Festivus activities. It is a gaggle of comedians that gathers in the local.

Good times were had by all.

Food, beverages, laughter...how could you go wrong?

***photos: http://pandafan.tabulas.com/gallery/bat-cave-christmas-2008/

Best part.....the band was released from it duties for the evening....NICE present for all of us. Dont get me wrong, bands are okay but when you want to have a nice dinner with friends you actually would like to speak with them so, not having the band 10 feet away at the highest volume possible works.

Wonder of all wonders that we actually got this done. It has been snowing for days. But, tough as nails NE'ers that we are..no problem. Kirk did pick up Adam and Carmen though. I think Dan walked. I guess George and I both were the only ones saying..whatever, I'll drive...what's the big deal? lol. Yeah, and my neighbor was nice enough to help me get the car from the corner of the next street over into the driveway at midnight. Thank god or it'd still be there. I owe that man a beer I believe. The weather made for a nice backdrop for the festivities and as usual also added to the conversation. I let Carmen know the Harbor does in fact freeze and it's pretty cool for someone who hasnt dealt with it before even if it does freak her out a bit. This led to Kirk educating a young man on the freezing point of Salt Water in New England....and he was completely fascinated. I wonder if he remembers it this morning though.

Mike was the most fabulous cook for us, as usual. Carmen and I both had the Guiness Beef Stew in the Bread Bowl. Kirk had...what else?.....Mac and Cheese. George had the Tips and Adam had the chops. There were even leftovers for Rudie. Those dang chips Mike sent out were just wonderful....I could eat those everyday. And that sampler.....other than the Jalapeno poppers..gone in a flash. Nice stuff this glorious food. Even nicer that Mike could join us as well.

There are scads of photos. Dan I believe has done an entire photo essay on the man love between Adam and George. It's a beautiful thing to behold. I have film to be processed. I have film to finish even. All fun. Will as usual update when I have those done. Wonder if Dan uploaded yet. Humm.

Chris, Jerry and Jen were greatly missed however so - we may just have to gather again. Of course Heather and Chuck were missed greatly. We shall have to gather with them, for certain.

A friend of mine told me to watch this with a box of kleenex and luckily I believed her and took advantage. It is not the most award winning of films however it gives a dramatic account of things of change and the Indian. I only wish it were longer and more indepth but I must agree that you end up feeling enough.

I was happy to see Mr. Aidan Quinn in the film as he has become a very handsome man in his maturity. That alone could be enough to watch it I suppose. But, I digress. 

I found Charles Eastman's story in the film very interesting and as these things usually do for me it led me to go find more about him. What a great man. There is so much more to his story alone but, the film is more about the Indian and that is good. Well, not good but you know what I mean. Charles Eastman was the only doctor available at Wounded Knee. The fact he was a doctor at all in those times well, just more of that change thing. The film showed a great deal of things and I walk away from it seeing strength unsurpassed as well as defeat, grief and even pride long gone.

An interesting and stirring film anyway. I am going to watch it again as I believe I need to go through it once more to capture it all. I was also put off a bit by Mr. Royer in the film. Yes, you read it correctly - for those of you that get that. I must watch it again without that bit of information coming upon me. At least his role was not throughout it. There are some saving graces in life. He was however the one to send the 7th Calvary to carry out the brutal massacre.

There are quite a few quotes from the film that are wonderful but, this one is the most poignant.

Wovoka AKA Jack Wilson: A vision came to me when the sun went into shadow, and I lay dying. And in my death, I saw the Heavens of the white robes. And yes, it is as they describe it. But also there, my children, all the Indians that ever roamed this earth, all your beloved ancestors, and mine, and those young ones who were taken by the white man's diseases. Do not grieve for them. They want you to know that they are happy. Yes. And you should not grieve for yourselves, because here is what the white robes did not tell you- the white man, my children, will soon be no more. Now you must not hate the white man. This will only delay his end. But if you will do the dance that I will teach you, all the ancestors will return. And the buffalo will be renewed. And you shall all live forever. Forever in the freedom that we as Indian people once knew.

I also have not read the book. My Bad.

http://www.amazon.com/Bury-My-Heart-Wounded-Knee/dp/0805066691

I should read more of Charles Eastman as well:

http://www.real-dream-catchers.com/Ojibwe_culture_and_language/soul_of_the_indian/charles_eastman.htm

From "The Soul of the Indian"

Whenever, in the course of the daily hunt, the red hunter comes upon a scene that is strikingly beautiful and sublime -- a black thunder-cloud with the rainbow's glowing arch above the mountain; a white waterfall in the heart of a green gorge; a vast prairie tinged with the blood-red of sunset -- he pauses for an instant in the attitude of worship. He sees no need for setting apart one day in seven as a holy day, since to him all days are God's.